Thirty Days of Thanks Day 2

Well today's post is going to be interesting.....

So I was on my buffalomommies sight tonight just "flipping" through the pages and came across a post about a mom who had a vaginal birth with her first baby but because she is having Fibroid surgery this month will have to have C sections for any following children.  She stated that she felt like her body was broken and that she felt like less of a women.  I felt that I had to reply because I have sooo been there.

I responded with something like this:

Okay so my opinion is this....  After having a CS with my first baby I felt that my body was broken and that my body failed me.  After my second baby a failed VBAC and tons of pain from head to toe I really felt a lot of guilt and dispare and a huge struggle with ppd because of the fact that I couldn't have the birth I wanted.  After working at a hospital in Buffalo as a newborn photographer  I was CURED.  While at work one day I did pictures of an angel baby.  It was the first time that I was going to do this.  I entered the room to find mom, dad and the brother holding the baby and in tears.  I struggled to hold my composure during the photos.  At one point during the photo session I "forgot" that the baby was an angel baby and picked her up.  I will never forget that feeling.  I will not share the details of that feeling out of respect for readers that have had angel babies.  After the photo session I was CURED!!!  I decided that at the end of the day it doesn't matter how a baby is born as long as it comes out healthy and breathing.  It takes a lot for me to say that because I used to get so angry and upset when people would say it to me.  I was cured of any self doubt or self judgement or misjudgment of what birth "should" be.  I can remember actually saying to my DH to sign me up for a cs because I wanted healthy breathing babies.  I am especially thankful that a cs is possible as my daughter was born at 27 weeks and spent 62 days in the hospital. Even if I had a VBAC the second time around I still would have had a cs the 3rd time because I was very very sick. I had a classical cs and was advised not to have any more babies because I was so sick. I am just thankful that I have 3 HEALTHY strong babies to love on and snuggle. I love watching them grow and learn. I wouldn't change it a bit and would do it all over again to have the beautiful babies I have. Try to look at the bright side of the situation you had a vaginal birth so you know what that's like. Those darn fibroids will be gone and you can STILL have BABIES!!. And look at it this way... you get a little siesta in the hospital after the baby because it is a longer stay. 
I really feel that god has a plan for us and he/she knows what he/she wants or has in store for us.  I feel that Pixie was supposed to be born at 27 weeks to make me a stronger person and a better mother.  After I had her while I was still in the hospital I did the why me what did I do wrong thing.  Then about 3 weeks in a baby was born at 25 weeks on the sidewalk of the hospital and was very very sick.  I then said to myself..  "She was born in a controlled situation and got the steroids for her lungs and she is FINE other than needing to be in the hospital.  Pixie is my miracle child and I love her so much she was given to me early so that I could stop for a moment and see the important things in life. One of those things or pieces of advice comes from my cousin... "your children don't care where they live as long as they live with you"  That piece of advice has made me a stronger person.

So today I am thankful for MEDICAL ADVANCEMENT and My Dr, Dr. Susan Erk and her husband who did an awesome job at making one of the scariest moments in our life a little easier!!
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Thirty Days of Thanks Day 1

Let's see if I can do this. Today is day 1.  Today I am Thankful for the nurses and Dr's that treated me the night I was admitted to Sisters Of Charity Hospital for knowing what was wrong with me. Also for their swift actions to start treating the pre eclampsia, Words will never describe how thankful I am.  I am also thankful for my Father in law.  He got me to the hospital safely and stayed with me until my mom arrived!!

Happy Halloween

Today we celebrated our first Halloween in South Carolina!  We had an awesome time Trick or Treating and it was actually warm!!  Peanut was Luigi and Beanie was Spider Bat (a cross between Spider man and Batman) Pixie was Tinkerbell,  I did pictures of the kids today!  They came out so cute.  I can't wait to get some of them printed out!!!!!  The Boys collected 22lbs of candy.  Yes that's right I said 22lbs.  What in the world are we going to do with all of this candy??  Oh why yes EAT IT!!!!  I missed hanging out with my Buffalo friends but I am sure glad we found a few good friends down here in SC
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Sunday Funday

Today we hung around the house again!!  DH and I got a few things done like laundry and hanging curtain rods.  Thank goodness those curtains don't have to wander around the living room anymore.  I went to Babies R Us today to get some things to organize Peanut and Beanies room and totally got sidetracked by the Christmas dresses.  I can't wait to buy her dress and get pretty hair bows and shoes! If I can find some to fit!.

Goals for the week (maybe if I write them down on here they will get done)
Take Halloween pics of all three kiddos
Finish organizing boy's room
Finish Pixi's Halloween costume
Finish fold and put away laundry

There I said it now I just have to do it lol!!

My Favorite Websites

I thought it would be fun to post a list of my favorite websites so here goes

www.caringbridge.org

www.dillybaby.com

www.babyhalfoff.com

www.mamabargins.com

www.zulily.com

www.mom365.com

www.southernsavers.com and last but not least

www.myfrugaladventure.com

I listed mine now what are yours!!!

Celebrate Day

Yesterday was Celebrate Day (a day made up by a friends daughter).  We spent most of the day relaxing.  Peanut and Beanie spent the day playing on the computer and hanging out as hurricane Sandy is moving along the coast and we got her rain and some wind.  Nothing serious it just meant no playing outside.  Pixie was hanging out in my room after Peanut and Beanie went to bed.  I had her on a waterproof pad with no diaper because she has a diaper rash that needed some air.  I placed her on her tummy after a while and was watching her reach for toys.  She rolled to her side like she has done so many times before and suddenly ROLLED OVER!!!  We have been waiting for this for a while now!!  She will be 19 weeks corrected on Monday!!  I was so happy I almost cried!!   So on Celebrate Day we celebrated a very large milestone!!  Pixie only did it once but she still did it!!  Peanut is getting so smart!!  He knows how to go on You Tube and watch videos!!  Thank goodness the computer is in the living room so that we can monitor what they are doing.  Beanie is learning quickly too.  I can't believe how big my babies are getting!!!!   I love watching them learn and grow.  We are so blessed to have 3 healthy smart children!!

I also entered a contest today to win a bunch of cool stuff from www.mom365.com  It was a contest about dreaming babies!  Check it out and enter to win!

Hopefully the weather will clear up and we can go outside and take some pictures of the clan as we are WAY overdue!!

What to do, What to do

Well again long time no write......  Things have been going well for our family.  We did have a little scare with Pixie a few weeks ago.  She saw our new ped. whom I love!!  and was referred to a cardiologist for a follow up for the murmur they heard at the hospital in Buffalo.  We went to the cardiologist who was also AWESOME!! Thank you Dr. P.  Pixie had an Echo cardiogram done.  She has Pulmonary Steno-sis.  Not a huge deal the Pulmonary valve is a little big.  We then went to the Medical University of South Carolina for a head ultrasound.  The results were normal.  It was determined that Pixie just needs to grow into her heart and she should be fine.  Pixie will have another Echo in six months just to be sure.

On another note....  Have you ever felt like you are lost and you don't know which way to go?  I have been feeling like that a lot lately.  I think that most of it has to do with the fact that I don't have my own space in the house and I am not really doing much of anything for me.  I feel like I had this picture in my head of the kind of parent I want to be and I don't see it happening and it is very very frustrating.  I get all of these ideas in my head of things that I want to do with the kiddos and then......  it never happens for one reason or another.  The other portion could be that I have a lot of medical issues that need to be sorted out and I am not sure that I have the energy right now to sort them out.  I need to find a good medical team that is all on the same page.  Please feel free to comment and let me in on the secrets you have found to remedy this issue!!

The house in Buffalo still hasn't sold if you know of anyone that wants to live in the Lancaster Depew area let me know!!!